Sturm's Dilemma
by Sachia
Summary: Tas gets Sturm into a realy...odd situation.


Tanis was walking down the corridor when he heard it. It was a faint "ouch" coming from the men's room. Even though curiosity killed the Kender, Tanis opend the door to have a look. Sturm was bent over the basin. This didn't look _too_ bad, until you realised why he was leaning over the basin. Sturm's moustaches, the ages-old symbol of the Solamnic knights, were entwined several times around the cold water tap. Tanis tried desperately to contain his laughter. "Tanis, help" said sturm. It looked painfull. Tanis went over to Sturm, still trying not to laugh. "how did you get like that?" he asked. Sturm gave him a pleading look. Tanis raised an eyebrow. Sturm reluctantly replied, "the kender." That explained everything. Tanis leant down to inspect the problem closely. "Sturm, I don't think they're going to come off easily. I might have to cut them."

"Noooo!" Caramon heard the shout coming from the toilet. Thinking someone was being attacked, he rushed in, hand on hilt. And saw Tanis and Sturm in a very ummm….. wrong? Position. Especially from this angle. "Tanis! Sturm! What are you doing?" he cried, although he had his suspicions. Tanis stood up. He didn't look as guilty as Caramon thought he should. "Sturm's moustache is stuck." _Lame, _Caramon thought. That was, until he moved closer and saw that Sturm's moustache realy was stuck. Caramon burst into loud hysterical laughter.

Raistlin had his hand on the men's room door when he heard Caramon's riotous laughter. "what is that oaf up to?" he muttered. Once inside, he could see what that oaf was up to. He was holding his sides and leaning on the wall, laughing like a loony. Tanis was standing near Sturm who was…. Bent over the sink. Raistlin's lips twisted in a smirk when he saw Sturm's Dilemma. "its not funny!" protested Sturm. Caramon controlled his laughter. Barely. Raistlin walked over to Tanis and produced a slim dagger. "you mght have to cut it." He said to Tanis. Sturm said a word that you would realy not expect to hear from a Knight's lips, especially not Sturm.

Riverwind and Elistan heard the word. Elistan was shocked when he realised it was Sturm's voice. Riverwind shrugged. _That's the last time I smoke anything of Flint's. _They went into the bathroom, out of sheer curiousity, mind you. Not because they wanted a private place to do things and realised that place was occupied, but because they wanted to find out why Sturm would swear. Yes, that's it.

Flint had seen the bathroom incident. He knew what was going on. And now he was trying to find Tas before Sturm did. Because if Sturm found Tas first…

Tanis gently grasped one end of the moustache. It wouldn't budge. "I think its glued or something," he said. He let go of it. Caramon grabbed it and pulled. It still would not budge. "its glued." Raistlin announced. Riverwind grabbed Sturm from behind. And pulled. "YEOWWW!" it must have hurt. Raistlin shook his head. Tanis took Raistlin's knife. "hold him" he whisperd to Caramon. "what are you doing?" asked Sturm, rather nervously. Caramon took a good hold on Sturm's shoulders. Sturm seemed to suspect what was coming and struggled. His foot slammed back and hit Caramon in the… between the legs. "ooff!" Riverwind stepped in to help Caramon out. He wasn't much help. Tanis gently raised the knife. Sturm's fist flew up and got Tanis on the cheek. Elistan stepped in. "now, Sturm you know the only way youre going to get out of that is if you let Tanis cut it. Sturm relented. Sort of. He didn't realy want to be stuck to a bathroom tap for the rest of his life. That could be very embarrassing. So, he let Tanis cut it. Reluctantly.

"Where are they!" Tika stamped her foot. Laurana sighed. This was the tenth time Tika had said that in the past five minutes. "be patient," she said, "im sure there's nothing wrong." _But I would like to know where Tanis is. He promised me…uhhh never mind. _Then, the front doors opened. "finaly!" said Tika. It was an unhappy looking bunch that exited. Tanis had a large bruise across his cheek, Caramon was moving cautiously as if there was a pain of some kind between his legs, Flint was holding a struggling Tas a fair distance away from a disgruntled looking Sturm with half a moustache, Riverwind and Elistan both looked quite odd, somewhat like they were slightly stoned but that wasn't likely. No it wasn't, not at all. Not even a vague possibility. Nope. Nuh-uh. Actually, the only person who seemed to have escaped harm (mental and physical) was Raistlin, who had a very amused smirk on his face. A **VERY **amused smirk. "What happened to you lot?" Tika asked. She received various unhappy mutterings involving blasted kender, bathrooms, bloody mages and stupid half-elves. All in all, they were not a fun-loving bunch.

The next person to use the bathroom was incredibly confused at the large length of hair that was wound several times around the tap. "I guess if I had hair down there that was as long as that I would cut it too. But I wouldn't leave it on a bathroom tap. That's disgusting." He muttered. And shuddered. And never bothered to wash his hands. Who knew what had happened in that sink.

The End 

**NOT!**

Later in private (sort of)

Sturm did a very un-knightlike thing and stuck pins into a voodoo doll that bore a very suspicious resemblance to Tas.

Tas, sorting out the contents of his pouch, yelped when he felt a sharp pain on his butt. It felt as if someone was using his behind for a pincushion. _What an interesting feeling…_


End file.
